During the interminable wait for the result of the Welsh election, I’m passing time by making up dodgy and mildly offensive anagrams out of the names of the four party leaders. They are neither funny nor clever, nor necessary come to think of it, but you must acknowledge the effort put into their concoction given the preponderance of difficult letters like J, K, W and Y.
CARWYN JONES – SCREW NAN? JOY! or JAWS: NONE CRY
IEUAN WYN JONES – YO NINJA! USE NEW! or SNOW IN JUNE? AYE!
NICK BOURNE – RUB 9” COK or RUBIK NONCE
KIRSTY WILLIAMS – I SMIRKS AT WILLY or MISSY, I KILL WART
That’s enough, the results are in. I’m going into purdah. J, SCRAWNY ENO?
More anagram idiocy – The name of Cardiff City’s chairman, Dato Chan Tien Ghee, contains such a plethora of letters it just cries out to be anagramised. These are the best I can come up with: O, he can eat thin dog; One cheating death; Teeth? Nah, gone – acid; Enhance ghetto aid!; At night, Oceana (het); Gotcha, teenie hand!
Even more anagram idiocy – Dafydd Elis Thomas is in the news, standing down as Presiding Officer of the Assembly after 12 years. Now, there’s a name I can work: Daddy! Ma! He lifts so!; Sham Dai lost Dyfed; Dam’d selfish toady; Shit melody – sad fad; Fly to Saddam’s hide!
Yet more anagram idiocy – I still can’t shake off this bad attack of anagramitis, and now the name of the leader of Cardiff Council, Rodney Berman, is tempting me: Mayor ‘n’ bender; Non-dry beamer; Bryn! Enema rod!; Norm yearn – bed; Randy men bore; Breed? Non! Mary; Dry manner – OBE?
Still more anagram idocy – I don’t see why David Cameron should be exempt from anagramisation: Dave – minor cad; Mad, avid crone; Mr cod Nivea ad; A rancid VD emo; Odd I am craven; Carve diamond!; Did ‘v’ on camera; Demon via drac; Nova crime dad.
Pathological anagram idiocy – Rosemary Butler is the new Presiding Officer…hmm: Breast lurer, o my!; A rebel’s rum Tory; Tumble era – sorry; Rouse bra, Myrtle!; Troubles my rear; Bar tousle – merry; Marry, true lesbo!; Lube my arse, Trot.
An Error Message: phantom, moi? (The promise: no more anagrams*)