Never in the field of human kleptocracy has so much been robbed from so many by so few.

This is the lesson: never resign, never resign, never, never, never, never. Never resign, even when caught red-handed, even when you’re the first UK Prime Minister ever to be convicted of multiple criminal offences and even after repeatedly lying to parliament. Never yield to codes of conduct, never yield to international treaties, never never yield to basic decency and accepted standards, and never yield to common law or criminal law – that stuff is for the little people and the plebs, not hugely over-entitled, nakedly corrupt, narcissistic megalomaniacs.

This is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end: we far-right thugs are only just beginning.

You ask, what is our policy? I will say it is to lie, to deny the truth, to lie, to wriggle mendaciously, to lie, to fill public offices with our cronies and placemen, to lie, to line the pockets of our families and acolytes, to lie, to suppress and repress all criticism and opposing views, to lie, to spread disinformation over decades, to lie, to disseminate fake news and propaganda via the mass media we control, to lie, to rewrite history, and then to lie some more.

We shall fight for oligarchs. We shall fight for racketeers, gangsters and organised crime. We shall fight for the world’s dirty money to be stashed and laundered in London. We shall fight for financial skulduggery and offshore shell companies. We shall fight for the bankers, accountants, libel lawyers and armies of wealth managers who make sure unregulated London is the perfect place for the world’s despots, dictators, crime lords and tax dodgers to hide their billions. We shall fawn at the feet of the powerful, the super-rich and the strong while cruelly and brutally asset-stripping and hurting the weak and the poor. We shall pimp the UK to the highest bidder, no questions asked.

I have nothing to offer but blood-money, tax havens, treachery and shit.