1 A strange banging sound woke Naomi. She opened her eyes and sat bolt upright, feeling disorientated and uneasy. In the pitch dark the bedside clock’s green luminescent display showed …

Now I’m Sixty-Four With apologies to John Lennon (1940-1980) and Paul McCartney Now I’ve got older, lost all my hair, And the charms have fled, Haggard lines gorge tracks as …

1 “I’m sorry to call so late without warning Mr Pengelly sir, but I know you’re a night owl and I really need to pick your brains urgently…” Inspector Tom …

With apologies to Galt MacDermot, James Rado and Gerome Ragni (1935-1991) ♫ When a lunatic’s in the White House And Fascism deludes the poor, Now greed will rape the planet …

With apologies to Ron Miller (1932-2007) and Kenneth Hirsch ♫ Hey butty, yes you butty, Sitting on your own, I’ve got things I want to tell you, I’ve got seeds …

At this time of year I take seasonal work writing jokes for Christmas crackers… What’s the difference between a commuter and an athlete? One races for a train, the other …

My first is in ransacked and also in violence, My second’s in apathy but not in silence, My third is in victim and also in dumbed, My fourth’s in poverty …