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Risible
What can I get you, Archbishop? Tea? Coffee? A soft drink? Homemade turnip wine? Something stronger? Give me a large port. Umm…Rotterdam? How about a Bloody Mary? Be patient, Gerry …
Escape route
He waited until darkness fell. In comfortable walking boots, warm clothing and a waterproof hiking jacket with the hood up, he shut the front door as quietly as possible and …
The thing is…
A black cat came to the back door. A young cat, small and thin and nervous. Usually I shoo local cats away, to prevent them shitting in the herbaceous borders …
Reading, writing and rhetoric
I live the life I always wanted: the writer’s life. Somehow or other, I attained this life without resources, assistance, support, encouragement, inheritance, privilege, patronage, influential friends and nepotistic networks, …
The months
With apologies to Sara Coleridge (1802-1852) January brings the fires, Dead koalas, rightwing liars. February brings fierce storms, Setting new destructive norms. March brings toxic air alerts, Gets so bad …
Ulysses abridged
With apologies to James Joyce (1882-1941) and Homer (c750BC-c650BC) Yes Blooms is open again after that fire got a decent bookshop aye O I saw yours there reduced to clear …
If I ruled the world
With apologies to Leslie Bricusse and Cyril Ornadel (1924-2011) – and not forgetting Harry Secombe (1921-2001) ♫ ♫ ♫ If I ruled the world Fascist pigs from every lamppost would …
Blew it
“What the hell is that terrible, anguished wailing noise?” I said to my companion at the remote self-catering cottage near Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch (sic), where I’ve been taking a well-earned break from …
Destined for landfill
I’ve written some limericks before, And admit their reception was poor, But, that notwithstanding, They’re so undemanding I’m entitled to do a few more. The format owes much to E. …
The gathering
They were all there… ♫♫♫ Paddy O’Hare and Billy McGrew And Mick O’Flaherty too, Tramadol Tess, Big Matt and Big Liz, Bigs Ron, Craig, James and Andrew, Big Chrissie, Big …
