Twisted

1 A strange banging sound woke Naomi. She opened her eyes and sat bolt upright, feeling disorientated and uneasy. In the pitch dark the bedside clock’s green luminescent display showed …

Sgt Pepper’s 50th

Now I’m Sixty-Four With apologies to John Lennon (1940-1980) and Paul McCartney Now I’ve got older, lost all my hair, And the charms have fled, Haggard lines gorge tracks as …

The Imperfect Murder

1 “I’m sorry to call so late without warning Mr Pengelly sir, but I know you’re a night owl and I really need to pick your brains urgently…” Inspector Tom …

Broadway lullaby

With apologies to Ron Miller (1932-2007) and Kenneth Hirsch ♫ Hey butty, yes you butty, Sitting on your own, I’ve got things I want to tell you, I’ve got seeds …

Festive fun

At this time of year I take seasonal work writing jokes for Christmas crackers… What’s the difference between a commuter and an athlete? One races for a train, the other …

Riddle-me-ree

My first is in ransacked and also in violence, My second’s in apathy but not in silence, My third is in victim and also in dumbed, My fourth’s in poverty …