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Sgt Pepper’s 50th
Now I’m Sixty-Four With apologies to John Lennon (1940-1980) and Paul McCartney Now I’ve got older, lost all my hair, And the charms have fled, Haggard lines gorge tracks as …
The Imperfect Murder
1 “I’m sorry to call so late without warning Mr Pengelly sir, but I know you’re a night owl and I really need to pick your brains urgently…” Inspector Tom …
Pig Ignorance/Let the Nightmare in
With apologies to Galt MacDermot, James Rado and Gerome Ragni (1935-1991) ♫ When a lunatic’s in the White House And Fascism deludes the poor, Now greed will rape the planet …
Broadway lullaby
With apologies to Ron Miller (1932-2007) and Kenneth Hirsch ♫ Hey butty, yes you butty, Sitting on your own, I’ve got things I want to tell you, I’ve got seeds …
Festive fun
At this time of year I take seasonal work writing jokes for Christmas crackers… What’s the difference between a commuter and an athlete? One races for a train, the other …
Riddle-me-ree
My first is in ransacked and also in violence, My second’s in apathy but not in silence, My third is in victim and also in dumbed, My fourth’s in poverty …
The unfunniest joke in the world
Scene: the crowded waiting room in a hospital’s overstretched, understaffed A&E department. Every few minutes the receptionist calls people to the treatment rooms over the public address system. “Huw Janus to …
