On Cummings going

With apologies to E. J. Thribb (aged 17½) So. FarewellThenDominic Cummings. You were de facto Prime Minister Until the lazy philanderer’s latestConquest from the Spectator magazine,Whatsername,Objected to yourGeneralObnoxiousness. You will be …

Teach yourself American

The English language has long been an insatiable borrower of vocabulary from other languages, a consequence of the English being insatiable invaders of other countries, but there’s something categorically different …

Looking for a home

Alun is an excitable, high-maintenance cairn terrier/miniature shihtzu cross of low pedigree looking for a loving home after his previous owners abandoned him in a Cowbridge wheelie-bin. Can you help? …

Criminal at large

WANTED FOR THE CRIMES OF: Gross misconduct in public office Misappropriation and embezzlement of public funds Corruption of the public realm Deliberate peddling of lies and misinformation Sustained attacks on …

Place your bets

WESTMINSTER Dirt: Soft  Turf: Turd 12.30 British Prime Minister Selling Stakes (Class Z) 100y crooked course (Tory HQ to Palace of Westminster) Winner: Basic salary – £150k pa, Perks – …

Let them eat lentils

In preparation for the imminent collapse of the UK economy, it is now prudent to begin stockpiling essential supplies that might at least see you through a couple of months …

Tory Welsh Secretaries

There have been 18 Secretaries of State for Wales so far and the current incumbent, little Alun Cairns, is the 10th Conservative in the post. The job, which supposedly obliges …