Peter Murrell, Chief Executive of the Scottish National Party (SNP) from 2001 to 2023 and husband of former SNP leader and first Minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon from 2010 to their separation in 2025, was sentenced in May to 5 years 3 months in prison for embezzling over £400,000 from SNP funds – money that was donated to the party by SNP supporters.

I will put to one side Nicola Sturgeon’s surprising assertion that she never even noticed as her husband went on a lavish spending spree for years and give her the benefit of the doubt and accept that she thought the brand-new Jaguar parked in the drive was just an impulse buy Murrell couldn’t resist when out shopping. And I shall also disregard her “no comment” response to every single question when interviewed by the police and treat it as simply her way of being helpful. Instead I will concentrate on what Peter Murrell actually did with all that stolen dosh. Here, in descending order of price, is what he bought:

●Niesmann & Bischoff motorhome: £125,000
●Jaguar car: £60,000
●Volkswagen car: £17,000
●Unspecified tech purchase from Apple: £12,000
●2 Bremont luxury watches: £9,500
●Starwalker gold fountain pen: £4,200
●Unspecified ‘local’ purchase: £3,800
●Hamilton & Inches silver wine coaster: £3,500
●Jura coffee machine: £3,200
●Smythson vanity bureau and tea set: £3,200
●Samsonite briefcase, extending case and travel kit: £2,700
●2 Feuilles salt & pepper grinders: £2,600
●Jura coffee machine: £2,600
●Meisterstück gold pen, pen pouch and bottle of ink: £2,500
●Grosvenor jewellery box: £2,500
●Unspecified purchase from Manufactum: £2,500
●2 Meisterstück rollerball pens and leather box with 12 writing instruments: £2,200
●Meisterstück gold fountain pen and bottle of ink: £2,100
●Grosvenor jewellery box: £2,000
●Neville Johnson fitted library: £2,000
●Jura coffee machine: £1,850
●John Lewis ipad: £1,800
●Samsonite case: £1,700
●Smythson bureau: £1,700
●2 Lalique vases: £1,600
●Smythson gents accessories box: £1,600
●Richemont gold fountain pen, rollerball pen and two pen pouches: £1,600
●Grosvenor pen pot, desk blotter and two letter racks: £1,600
●Richemont gold fountain pen, rollerball pen, rollerball refills and ink bottle: £1,500
●Hamilton & Inches silver beaker with gilt interior: £1,500
●2 Montblanc fountain pens: £1,400

That’s just the first three pages of a 57-page list of 627 items the prosecution presented to the Glasgow court! I’m losing the will to live so will jump to the final page to give readers an idea of the cheapest stuff:

●6 cable connectors and 4 connection terminals for Husqvarna auto lawnmower: £9
●Joseph Joseph uni-tool kitchen utensil: £8.80
●Ronseal Danish oil: £8.70
●Spear & Jackson dibber: £8
●Ellmau Beach pre-glued edging: £7
●Cole & Mason funnel: £6.40
●6 bottles of Comfort fabric conditioner: £6.40
●3 sachets Bayer tree-stump killer: £6
●Method shower cleaner: £3.60
●2 Plasplug panel door fixings: £3.30

Murrell paid for his excruciatingly embarrassing addiction to ‘luxury’ brands with other people’s money while his annual salary was £88,000 and Sturgeon’s £140,000. They had no mortgage on their home in pleasant Glasgow suburb Uddingston and no children or dependents to support, so every single item on the list, except maybe the motorhome and the Jaguar, was comfortably affordable. He robbed for the sake of greed, not need.

His treacherous and damaging betrayal of the long and noble struggle for Scottish independence tells us that Murrell is wicked, tasteless, vulgar and, most of all, profoundly stupid. He ruined his life, and Sturgeon’s, for nothing. He couldn’t understand that the whole luxury goods market is a conspicuous consumption con-trick aimed at pathetic social climbers who inanely believe that the possession of upmarket tat is impressive. Hoodwinked into thinking high prices and material excess signify status and self-worth, Murrell is the epitome of a weak man, easy fodder for the ruthless marketing tactic that charges astronomical prices precisely to lure inadequate humans vulnerable to shallow aspiration, deluded vanity and indoctrinated dreams.

In addition, his total disregard for the destruction caused by obsessive consumerism, for the tough financial realities endured by millions of Scottish people, and for the atrocious, anglocentric snobbery evident from his enthusiasm for lavish lifestyles and posh shops like Harrods and Fortnum & Mason exposes him as a cowardly, despicable traitor who infiltrated Scotland’s independence movement for his own gain. If/when he gets out of prison he should be drummed out of the country in disgrace.

Mind you, Murrell is merely symptomatic of the total corruption that has poisoned politics across the planet. Trump’s brazen exploitation of the US presidency as a vehicle for massive personal enrichment (he has added a staggering $3.5 billion to his family’s coffers since returning to power) is the most extreme example but plenty of other politicians, inspired by him getting away with it without consequences, are following in his footsteps. In the UK, for instance, politics has been remorselessly captured by crooks, charlatans and con-men since Thatcher fired the starting gun with “there is no such thing as society” (a policy aim, not an observation). Now Reform UK’s far-right thugs are buying their way to power through unprecedented donations and ‘gifts’ from a Thailand-based billionaire amounting to at least £20 million in the last two years alone. That is just the tip of the iceberg while minor routine robberies have become the norm. Another example came last week with the news that Labour Party ministers and MPs have continued to guzzle freebies, amounting to £400,000 this year so far. Big business donors bombard them with generous ‘hospitality’ temptations in attempts to buy their support and, despite their large salaries and the outcry triggered by Starmer’s fondness for handouts in 2024, they just can’t say no. Meanwhile Tory leader Kemi ‘we are more Fascist than Reform’ Badenoch and her shadow cabinet live high on the hog, wined and dined by lobbyists and non-paying regulars at any pricey event from Wimbledon Centre Court and the Chelsea flower show to the Silverstone grand prix.

We live in a world where billionaires conspire to accrue yet more billions in order to control every single aspect of human affairs. At breakneck speed this is happening before our eyes. Put in that context, Peter Murrell begins to look like nothing more than a small-time sad sack who deserves pity – even for that £940 oak library ladder and the £100 6-hook key fob…