Back by popular demand

ACROSS 1 You’re looking at it: the first hybrid of 17 (6) 5 Vroom! Fiat’s uneven heave (5) 9 Time with a batty gnat such as Ann Widdecombe? (9) 10 …

2084

Decree (1/2084) from the Planetary Emergency Government In order to save the Earth, these policies shall now be implemented: ■ Mass sterilisation of all males ■ Free abortion on demand …

A fuchsia is toppled

The fuchsia had to go. I thought something was wrong with it back in the spring when the spectacular annual profusion of crimson and purple pendulous flowers quickly became blackened …

Our Japanese jaunt

With apologies to Max Boyce We travelled in our thousands to cheer Gatland’s fearless men, Some remortgaging their houses just to rustle up the yen. We tried the local saké, …

Hummus be joking

Returning home after a week away in wild wet windy western Wales, I was so hungry I could have eaten a horse chestnut (if there were any left now that …

The visitor

When I glanced out of the window to check the weather, something in the back garden caught my eye, something unfamiliar and unusual. I looked again and spotted an incongruous …

Humans, we have a problem

The nightmare is becoming ever more horrifying. This month alone, the evidence of the insane environmental catastrophe mankind is inflicting upon our one and only planet has been coming thick …

999

Emergency services, which service do you require – ambulance, fire, police or coastguard? Um…the police I suppose. Hold the line caller, connecting you now. South Wales Police control centre, please …