With apologies to E.J.Thribb (age 17½)
So, farewell then
You will go down in history.
Having lasted just 45 days,
You are the shortest serving UK Prime Minister
Of all time.
You had a briefer shelf life
Than an iceberg lettuce!
Good grief, you didn’t even have
Time to pick your own swastika-patterned wallpaper!
Keith’s mum calls you
All fur and no knickers but
Auntie Daphne says you’re simply a
Your blend of epic stupidity,
Contempt for democracy,
And reckless incompetence
Has inflicted calamitous
Damage and chaos,
Imposed untold hardship,
Ensured years of mass suffering,
Destroyed what’s left of public services
And made the UK the laughing stock of the world.
You set out to disrupt and destroy –
And you sure delivered!
Why, you were so toxic that
Even the Queen took
One look at you
And lost the will to live!
Hmm, that’s difficult when you have no discernible talents or
But since you’re so keen on
Perpetual growth and consumption
Unhindered by pesky laws and regulations,
There might be an opening
For a freedom-fighter like you
Sifting through raw sewage
Down at Deptford Creek.
Then you will have found your level.
Oh come on now they are trying to clean up Deptford Creek.
Barely on-thread, we were arguing in the pub last night about who was the shortest UK Prime Minister, for whom we could find data. Turns out it was probably Mrs Thatcher, closely followed by Lloyd George. W Churchill was surprisingly short too. Just thought I’d share all that.