With apologies to E. J. Thribb (age 17½)

So. Farewell then
Suella Braverman,
The worst Home Secretary in British history –
Which is saying something!

You will be remembered for
Abuse of office,
Aggressive ignorance,
Authoritarianism, malevolence, cruelty,
Inflammatory provocation,
Racist rhetoric,
Divisive demonising,
Undermining the fundamental
Principles of democracy and a free society,
Tearing up ancient constitutional settlements,
Bullying, scapegoating,
Picking on the weak,
Spreading hatred and lies
And being the most obnoxious Tory ever –
Which is saying something!

Having been sacked as Home Secretary
(For the second time
In a year),
You can now spend more time with
The illiterate ultra-right drunken thugs for whom you’ve
Acted as a useful mouthpiece.
It’s hilarious: you’re so stupid and deluded you don’t realise
Your white supremacist shock-troops would put you on a raft to Rwanda
If they had half a chance. Tip: look in a mirror.

As a ‘Buddhist’ you presumably believe in
Reincarnation.
Wouldn’t it be perfect Karma if
You came back as
A ‘lifestyle choice’ destitute in a cardboard box (tent confiscated)
Being pissed on by football hooligans!