I was so shocked to hear that a monk on Caldey Island sexually assaulted girls for decades and the Cistercian monastery tried to hush it up, only paid derisory compensation and never apologised – and there was I thinking Ynys Bŷr was a peaceful sanctuary where lovely old Trappists lived celibate lives of prayer and self-denial making artisan cheese and lavender soap…

I was so shocked to hear that at least 36 Conservative MPs have been accused of sexually harassing aides and staff in Westminster – and there was I thinking Tories were decent, well-bred, upstanding pillars of the community who would never ever abuse their wealth and power…

I was so shocked to hear that a litany of big-name American movie moguls, directors, producers, writers and actors have systematically raped, molested and forced themselves upon hosts of young people trying to make their way in the film industry – and there was I thinking Hollywood was a magical dream factory and a beacon of the liberal creative arts…

I was so shocked to hear that a much-loved presenter has been suspended by the BBC following allegations of inappropriate behaviour – and there was I thinking he was a pious, angelic, squeaky-clean born-again virgin…

I was so shocked to hear that a Welsh politician hung himself a few days after denying allegations about his personal conduct with women – and there was I thinking such a resolute campaigner against domestic violence would fight to clear his name and never throw in the towel the moment the going got tough…

I was so shocked to hear that a gay man in Cardiff subjected his adopted baby daughter to months of horrifying assaults until the defenceless 18-month-old toddler died of multiple injuries – and there I was thinking that any pair of husbands, having accessorised their lifestyle to match hetero norms, would treat their life-like dolly like a pretty-in-pink princess…  

I was so shocked to hear that every year in the UK there are 50,000 new cases of child sex abuse and over 150,000 women are sexually attacked – and there was I thinking British blokes were benign, chivalrous, mildly eccentric, salt of the earth yeomen who open doors for ladies, help with the washing-up, form orderly queues and talk about the weather…

In my life I have been robbed, abused, raped, bullied, beaten up, defrauded, threatened, stalked, held hostage, persecuted, exploited and cruelly mistreated by other men. If that is a man’s experience of men, it is beyond computation what women and girls have to endure. It has come as a terrible shock to gradually discover that fairies don’t live at the bottom of the garden, Father Christmas doesn’t exist, no cavalry will be coming over the hill to rescue me, God didn’t make them little green apples, wishes don’t come true..and most men are bastards.