With apologies to E. J. Thribb (aged 17½)

So. Farewell
Then
Mr Elis-Thomas.
You were one of the original Senedd intake,
The so-called
Class of ’99.
Keith’s mum says she has never heard of you.

Now you can spend
More time in the House of Lords,
At £305 per day
(Plus
Expenses).

Once you’ve signed in
You can hobble round the corner
To Mrs Windsor’s place,
There to honour your binding, lifelong
Oath
Of
Allegiance.

She will dispense
Tiny drops of
Sour noblesse while you
Prostrate yourself
At the feet of
Your monarch and
Swoon.

Oh the majesty!
The mystique! The money!
The mycelium!

Tip: use a small, soft-bristled
Toothbrush
Moistened with baby oil
When soothing saddle sores.

Your legacy is secure:
Unstinting support for
The liberation of
England
From the Celtic yoke.

Do you need any help packing?