On the departure of Boris Johnson

With apologies to E.J.Thribb (age 17½)

So. Farewell
Then Boris Johnson,
Kicked out of 10 Downing Street in
Disgrace
To put the tin lid on a career of failure
After
Failure
After
Failure.

You were a
Destructive hooray-henry hooligan,
Piss-poor hack,
Rotten Mayor of London,
Terrible Foreign Secretary,
Serial spreader of lies and misinformation,
Irresponsible breeder of unknown quantities of children with multiple different women,
Inveterate bullshitter and
Ludicrous embarrassment.
In other words supremely well qualified to
Lead the
Tory
Party.

In your two years of fiasco and farce as Prime Minister
You confirmed that to be a Conservative is to
Be mentally ill –
In your case, a pathological liar,
Delusional monomaniac
Braying nincompoop and
Indolent,
Cruel
Slob
With galloping narcissistic personality disorder.

You wanted to be King of the World
But only succeeded in becoming the first sitting PM ever
To be a convicted criminal.

Your legacy is clear: a failed, non-functioning State
And the title of worst Prime Minister in UK history.
And, given the standard
Of your predecessors,
That is truly saying something!

But
Even those non-achievements
Look tenuous
Since your successor
Shows every sign of
Being
Even
Worse.

To keep you occupied
While you
Plot your comeback
And book
Lucrative speaking engagements on
The US far-right circuit,
Here’s a puzzle for you to solve.

If you can, rearrange these two words
Into a well-known phrase or saying:
Off,
Fuck.