The FAW have appointed Cardiffian Craig Bellamy as Cymru’s new manager and, notwithstanding my own counter-intuitive idea of who should replace Rob Page, I agree wholeheartedly with the FAW’s decision.
For starters, he’s Welsh, and that is of critical importance in a country almost entirely dependent on passionate patriotic fervour (we even have a word for it: hwyl) in order to compete with independent nations that aren’t crippled by centuries of being a cowering, downtrodden, impoverished, exploited possession of a cruel imperialist power. Non-Welsh candidates for the job like Sam Allardyce or Thierry Henry would never have been able to grasp and utilise this crucial motivating factor. In any case, Big Sam’s agricultural long-ball game and loose relationship with scruples are better suited to some other lucky employer while the snake-hipped Henry is more than fully occupied endorsing manly products like Gillette razors and Dove moisturiser.
Secondly, Bellamy was a top-notch international footballer for Wales, scoring 19 goals (the 7th highest total of all time) in 78 appearances (the 9th highest total of all time) in an era when Cymru lost far more frequently than we won. The way he steered in his first international goal with his head back in 1998 still delights:
His club record was pretty impressive too. A spiky, pugnacious personality meant he never stayed anywhere for very long, turning out for no less less than nine different teams (eight English, one Scottish). Moreover, he was plagued by serious injuries throughout his career but still racked up 135 goals in 458 league appearances across 17 seasons.
That combative personality of his, forged in the shabby east Cardiff suburb Trowbridge, is actually an asset in my book. His rough-and-tumble gruffness makes such a refreshing change from the formulaic bromides, vacuous truisms and prissy euphemisms regurgitated robotically by risk-averse conformists who dominate all areas of contemporary life. If millionaire footballers can’t take a deserved bollocking when they’ve let the side down then the precious darlings should perhaps take their ‘mental health issues’ to a more appropriate occupation like, say, needlework or pressing wild flowers. Already the deeply conservative British newspapers that insolently claim to be Welsh have grilled him about a non-event that happened a few years ago when he was coaching at Cardiff City’s academy (apparently he didn’t treat some young English players with sufficiently grovelling kid gloves). Don’t change Craig; tell your truth, stand your ground, and ignore anything that emanates from the South Wales Echo or the Western Mail.
I think Craig Bellamy could be an inspired choice by the FAW if he trusts his own judgement, takes chances, ditches any time-serving mercenary who doesn’t bust a gut for Cymru and finds a playing style that, rather like his own, expresses Welsh unorthodoxy, skill, courage and creativity. His first test will be the matches against Türkiye and Montenegro in Nations League Group B4 in September. Of course it could all go wrong, but there’s nothing to lose and whatever happens we should be in for interesting times.
Video: YouTube