Your full guide to the big race at Westminster dirt track.
23.59 LABOUR PARTY STAKES (CLASSLESS) 4 MONTHS
Winner: £75,000 + poisoned chalice (4 run)
1 (1) 00000-0 OUR ANDY (br g Flat Cap-Opportunist) N Kinnock 45-11-0 A Burnham (5)
2 (2) 00000-0 MRS BALLS (b f Policy Wonk-Pollyanna) G Brown 46-10-9 Y Cooper (3)
3 (4) 00000-0 THE S WORD (gr c Beardie Man-Ban The Bomb) T Benn 66-10-7 J Corbyn (7)
4 (3) 00000-0 LETSBETORY (b f Lord Haw Haw-Aspiration) T Blair 44-7-0 L Kendall (7)
BETTING: 2-7 The S Word, 4-1 Our Andy, 8-1 Mrs Balls, 80-1 Letsbetory
2010: CHICKEN LIVER 40-11-0 H Harman 3-1 (E Miliband) 5 ran
VERDICT (Dic Turpin, racing correspondent): OUR ANDY finished a distant 4th on soft ground when the race was last contested. This time the firm going and the extra baggage to carry, plus the gelding’s ingrained tendency to be put off stride by whatever conditions prevail, mean it can’t be fancied. A convincing case is also hard to make for rank outsider LETSBETORY. Still a maiden and with no form whatsoever, she is prone to veer violently rightwards at the slightest provocation. At these odds, it might be worth a cunning punt on MRS BALLS, a persistent, galloping sort with three foals she never neighs about and the ability to keep a straight face when the cameras are present. Red-hot favourite THE S WORD doesn’t appeal. My stable informant tells me the race has been fixed anyway: the old trooper will be doped, his starting gate will jam and, if all else fails, Special Veterinary Branch will euthanise.